Thomas has started this somewhat annoying trend of wanting to know what to do at all times of the day. He’s always been schedule-orientated, but now he demands to be occupied. The problem arises when he doesn’t want to do any of the things we suggest.
Several times during the day he’ll grow bored of whatever toy he is playing with and wander over and ask “what should I do now?”
And we’ll tell him, most times. “You should do this,”, “why not do this?”, “we’re about to do this,”
And invariably it is not what he wants to do.
So of course, we’ll ask, “well, what do you want to do?”
To which he will invariably reply “I don’t know.”
We’ve been trying to keep him engaged at home, since it’s coming up to a year we’ve kept him home from day care. We’ve invested in activity subscription boxes, art projects and so on. Usually he’s satisfied with these when they’re new; once the novelty wears off he’s back to pestering us.
This always ends up one of two ways:
-we give in and let him watch tv or play on the iPad, which are about the only things that hold his attention for more than 20 minutes.
– or we lose our patience with him and tell him to go figure something out by himself. He has loads of toys and books and things, but he wants novelty.
Or, more likely, he wants us to pay attention to him. This is difficult, especially when I’m at work all day, and Megan is working at home whilst also trying to tend to our 5 month old, as well as keep Thomas entertained.
It would be great if Thomas could just entertain himself, allowing us to get on with work and chores and stuff. There is a school of thought that suggests people need to learn how to be bored, because being bored is often where creativity thrives. I know Thomas is capable of being creative; watching him when he is actively engaged in playtime is an interesting window into how his mind is starting to grasp different concepts.
But of course, he is three and a half, and isn’t really emotionally equipped to be “bored” yet. Plus he is probably feeling a little neglected since Milo takes up a large chunk of our attention that used to be devoted exclusively to him.
Hopefully soon we can re-enter him into daycare, where he can socialize with peers of his age and regain structured play and work time. I think it will do him (and us!) wonders.
What has been both funny and perplexing is his refusal to take “I don’t know” as an answer. He’ll ask what to do or inquire as to the whereabouts of one of his toys or stuffed animals, and when we tell him we don’t know he’ll say “No, I don’t know!”
We, of course, try to tell him that we don’t know either and he insists that “only one person can not know!”
Oh. Oh Buddy. My poor sweet child. Just wait until you truly grasp just how many people “don’t know” much of anything. How your world will flip when you realize how many of us are just making it up as we go.
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Anatopism 